funny response to are you still alive

My guardian angel be like 2. The hottest single of the year is me. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. "Still alive" is polite. 31. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. 26. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. What's your sign? How are you? Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. 42. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. But Ive also had better. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. . Dave Barry (author). Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Financially? Not sure why you're asking me my age. Getting better with every passing second. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. 38. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. 74. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. 3. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. No, not really. Feel my shirt. 1. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Another way to say Still Alive? The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. What could go wrong? Reply. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Nowadays, potential mates need money. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 87. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. 64. 2. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. That's boyfriend material. Dont get caught with nothing to say. 69. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. 2. 20. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. You were a young man when you last spoke. How do you think that I am doing? I hope you are at your best too. But, they will grow up into a dog. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Not. Best "How Are You?" Answers. Could Be Payday. You just have bad luck at thinking. 53. 1. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Liked what you just read? 84. 1. Your secrets are always safe with me. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Reply. Just Smile And Nod The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Your hair looks great! 18. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. I love you. I learned my lesson. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Checklists & Reminders! The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! "Any day above ground is a good day. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. 77. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. I plead the fifth. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. I dont know. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. I never even listen when you tell me them. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Im not single. I repeat I am plural! Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. No one loves superheroes. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. Image: wikimedia commons 6. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. 93. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Who told you that? Don't Push It Too Far. Share the best GIFs now >>> Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. "You know I can do this anytime.". So, you changed your mind? All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. 55. 11. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." provided, of course, that he really is dead." 100. Going strong. 30. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. You might just find one. What do you say when people ask you that? Its not my choice, but its still a choice. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Thank you Fred. 9. 7. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. 10. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. 24. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. 11. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. Im jealous of people who dont know you. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. In fact, they're taking too much of it. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. 16. . Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 57. 67. I really thought you already knew. At minding my own business? Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. I'm loved! I was actually talking to my friend". "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. 5. This one is bound to get a laugh. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. What do you mean Im still single. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Then the worms eat you. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. 3. 71. A little bit worse now that youve asked. Because they are already taking their time. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. This one is good. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. It's impossible for things to be perfect. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. 48. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. 14. 17. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. A real low-life. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. 18. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. 6. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Youre totally on the same page. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Then they throw dirt in your face. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? I always yawn when Im interested. (Use a sexy tone). 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. 6. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Still, the ghosters ghost on. 7. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Not bad. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once 28. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! So the next time someone asks you why you're still. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Have you met food? Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Privacy Policy. Youre free to go. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. You dont need to say it. 90. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. This one kills me! Alexa's response: No, that's not true. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? - Anonymous. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? 16. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Me being single is just a conspiracy! You have an old soul. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. 4. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. 4. 3. 76. . funny response to are you still alive. I'm alive! "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Your email address will not be published. 1. 7. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. No, waitIm actually plural. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. How do you usually respond to the question? However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Sorry, life. Im sorry. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. 13. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Heart-shattering. WHY!? " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. 88. 5. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Was that comment meant to offend me? I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Funny as phuck. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Siri, why am I still single? Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Hanging by a thread. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. It could always have been worse. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. 12. I dont feel that great, but look! [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. 18. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 27. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." How impressive! How Am I Still Alive. funny response to are you still alive. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. This does not seem right. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. 58. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. 75. 63. Usually, people live and learn. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. I agree, thanks for sharing. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. - Anonymous. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. "I'm alright, mate". If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. They might even steal it to use in the future. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? 39. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Want to equip yourself with more responses? 79. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. 95. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. . *wink*. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. I hope you like some of them. Could be payday. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends.

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