funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

I kind of resent that you assume I will tell you. Its just in the past year or so that its cropped up repeatedly, with different people at different establishments. Demanding person: Are you busy this weekend? To be honest, not good. Three-day weekends would be perfect if they were just four days longer. I get lunch with my coworkers on Friday and there is a lot of so is anyone doing anything interesting this weekend? in our conversation. Shes moving and needs a van? Is this just aimless small-talk? Tomorrow is the weekend! parents of adult children pull this exact same rude little stunt, I am the parent of an adult child who is living at home, and I have been training myself since her teenhood to say, I would like to claim some of your time this weekend or I would like to ask a favor for this weekend, if youre available. or would you help me with X instead of are you busy? (OK, sometimes Ill say, Are you busy? Honestly, about 90% of *soft* invitations to me fall flatly to the ground because I dont pick up the work of planning, timing and reissuing that invitation. The second part of this is being okay evaluating the specific invitations and turning them down if you dont want to do them. Why do you ask? Its a polite way of communicating WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I dont think my friends are trying to put me on the spot at all. Him: Doing anything fun today? My instinct leads me to: answer back in the affirmative (great) because Performing Happy is expected of us, thank them for their interest (thanks), and repeat the gesture (yourself?). 3. Yep, my wife and I too. If you already made someone admit that they do not have Serious Plans, of course at this point saying no to your invitation is going to be so much more difficult, because its going to be rude! So, sometimes it is a trap! The thing about she is family, and I expect family to do X is: Who decides what is necessary, when is it necessary, and who needs to do it? That's why you should remember these funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for the next time the question pops up: If you have no idea what degree you're going to get or where you want to live in the future, pretend that you have something big planned, but don't want to ruin the surprise. I might even be more direct My kids and I need the walk to school for ourselves. Because everybodys got something. Which has been said in other comments and is important enough to say again. You can say "because you're too hideous" or "because you're too old." My friends do it alllll the time. The kids DO like my origami and I was able to get in some geometry pointers with that. Yeah, I ask this of people because Im making conversation! Given that the cousin is seeking babysitting, What are you doing on Thursday, followed by, Great, youre available to babysit for me! is an incredibly rude and pushy way to go about asking for that favor. To put it another way, I guess: this is such a normal way to open a conversation that being annoyed by it means that you will be annoyed by a wide variety of people, forever. My response if Im up for it is Looking like a fun one, but did you have something in mind? If Im probably not up for it I say All the things! I didnt realize it until I noticed they were running a long-term experiment when they traveled of noting responses they said they like Canada and big chunks of northern and western US, because if they say theyre British, no one bats an eye despite their obvious Polish accents. And then if its something I dont want to do BUT its a person I dont want to discourage, I can say, That sounds like youll have fun! Skip the part where you say Ill have to check my calendar or even Im not surejust go ahead and ask them what they have in mind! And so if it happens to me, I wind up agreeing to the thing even if maybe I normally wouldnt have, because now I have no valid excuse for declining. Can't complain. Gah, I still worry though, like Blueberry Pancaaakes said about her sister, what if she cancels plans she needed or would have enjoyed? I find mildly-but-not-entirely-absurd stock answers to be a good distraction. Bonus points if you say something that makes zero sense, but you end up getting your family to look at you like a genius anyway. It gives you a window into each others lives and invites you to share something about yourself. They know this. I like to use Oh, you know, just some of the usual weekend stuff. It gives the impression that Id rather do nothing than spend time with you or help you with something (which may very well be true, but is often not a conversation worth having). Most dont mean to be manipulative, and if thats not their intention, Why, whats up? wont bother them in the slightest, nor will never finding out what you actually are doing next Thursday or what you did with that time if you turned them down. Maybe you can Google it. I just want to say I appreciate that, you know, you havent started charging your daughter rent, etc. My Kid: No (shuts door again) Its any individuals choice whether the tradeoffs are worth it. To those who suggested building better boundaries with my family: Good advice. Nothing? But if someone says what are you doing tomorrow night and I say painting my toenails in front of Netflix, that leaves me without a graceful out. Hello, theres a related phenomenon of *cashiers who dont know you* asking the question. And luckily the people asking me are perfectly able to graciously accept a No. My husbands family is large and I generally love them, but sometimes I just do not want to eat little smokies and chips with 40 other people in a loud house with tons of screaming children. Flip the question back on them. Eating. In ways that I doubt he even always notices. My parents and my in-laws have requests that my husband and I dont feel we can refuse. Not everyone in my life always has. May suggest reversing the order of operations? The people who are asking what are you doing this weekend? before making a request are taking away the LWs easy out that is, by getting LW to admit that he/she/they are free, the option to refuse with Oh, sorry, I have plans already is no longer there. I get what are you doing this weekend? or just what are you doing? on a Saturday morning. Its okay that my body needs time to recuperate. I think the ideas people are getting at is that sometimes people want to reject an invitation not because they have plans but because they dont want to attend. When she asks me what Im doing on a particular day, I just say Im not sure or I need to check my calendar until she tells me what she wants. Ive realized that people sometimes ask this question to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell you all about their exciting weekend plans. "It's Friday baby!! As others have mentioned, if I say yes Im free and then they offer something I dont want, then I *really* feel the pressure to say yes because Ive already essentially told them I have nothing better to do. But you, yours steals the show every time. 3. When exercising the advantages of a perceived difference in class or power, however, refraining from using or responding how are you? is an old patrician tactic designed to keep the interlocutor in her place. The Captain covered it with saying the question isnt going away. Baking a cake. Just about the only good answer is, That doesnt work for me/us, followed by, Asked and answered, when they dont want to take that answer. I have a group of friends now whom I trust not to give me a hard time about the explicit choice to paint my toenails in front of Netflix instead of going out. I suppose its more of an emotional labor thing? Well, here's that question again: do you know what you want to do with your life or are you still trying to figure it out? You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course. "Spend some time this weekend on home improvement. Every weekend! Ah. I cant see into the future and neither can the people in my life. Me: No can do. I know this is a small complaint, in the grand scheme of things, and I usually handle it by changing the subject to something Im interested in if I *do* feel like conversing. Want to go to the turnip festival with me or are you busy? Well, Im not busy but I also dont want to go to any turnip festival ever. My introvert self doesnt like last-minute extroverting.). I also come from an area that tends to do a lot more indirect communication than I think many parts of the US, though, and tend to prefer a softer communication style unless someones being either rude or unaware enough to force me into being blunt. No other adult would be here. But more often we talk about their kids or grandkids or the cute hat theyre wearing or the wedding theyre shopping for. Your parent or in-law will not die if they cant railroad your schedule. I dont use it myself because I dont like the way it comes across. Examples include: I'm so glad you reached out to me! What to Say: "Thank you, I had a great weekend.". What are you doing Saturday? might be an attempt to be extra polite about making an invitation, but it only works if the person wants to accept, and its only necessary if the person is too shy to say no. Them: We should have lunch soon. My workmates and I ask all the time stuff like what are you up to tonight/on the weekend? and its almost never a prelude to inviting them to something, its just small talk sharing our lives. This meme will hilarious remind them. Saying no at that point feels rude, and yeah some people have reacted badly. Just ask! So threatening to make her move out is just not wise. The fallout you talk about? I feel like its asking me to say yes or no to an invitation / commitment before I even know what it is (like, if youre having a party I might be free, but my babysitting quota is full for the month so no to that). Them : Ah, then Ill get back to you (They never get back to you). (Like just because I have no plans, I must do the Thing she wants to do. So I got in the habit of saying, I have no plans and thats just the way I like it. Yes, this. Indoor Cat raised some good points. And it absolutely has a cost, even for him. Or only if you consider it important? Question bugs me too, so I figured out some noncommittal answers that hit the tennis ball back into the askers court where it belongs. Answer vaguely. If you can walk away from them, they're successful. Follow. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. As a little anecdote my ex-husband and I had just started attending a new ward in his church when a guy our age wed chatted with a few times asked us what we were doing on Halloween. I moved out from my parents when I was 25. It always makes me a little uncomfortable, because Im not used to grocery store cashiers asking me how I am. Me: yes! or no, sorry. (Like, Im the kind of introvert who is good with people but I know a few who are just exhausting and who drain my battery super quickly), Could you have a conversation with her about, Were gonna have to schedule when all of our kids are walking to school. It sounds like he'd get into some fun and adventurous dates. 1. Tell me more! Of course I would never do this it would be returning the aggression but its a real puzzle to me. I get that youre saying you dont do this often and you see it as a minor part of your relationship. Published: August 09, 2021. (Women with STEM doctorates especially get constant streamers of this kind of contempt from their families.). I felt disliked, maybe undervalued, often embarrassed (and some of that came from my own brainweasles or ablism in broader society, not primarily my parents) but never unsafe. Its great! Situation #4: You have to say "no.". Its technically true and covers pretty much any emotion you might be feeling. Thank you! That way your daughter can organize her time (which is an important adult skill) and gets some input on what is a chore and how important it is (which allows her to build other adult skills) and she wont get interrupted that much (which to you doesnt feel that way but her story looks probably very different). I really enjoyed my years living in the American South, but I realized the day would never come when I wouldnt be seen as an outsider. You can be annoyed by a wide variety of people forever. Then, actually do check your calendar, check in with yourself if you actually want to do whatever it is, and answer the person when its convenient for you. I know whats best for me. If they continue after that, theyre super pushy and rude and Ill say as much. Texting or sending an email to someone. Going to mars where children don't ask questions. But of course Im going to judge her reason for refusing. Fine, thanks.. There was definitely conflict where trying to balance and figure out fairness, safety, and compassion were difficult and sometimes heated. With colleagues especially, Im not looking to hang out just looking to connect on something, find out what they like about, get to know them better. Why is that worth it?

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