funny twitter bios

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has a Twitter, and he’s not afraid to share his truth — in the form of a clever use of Christina Perri lyrics. As I read somewhere “Nothing is more boring than a person with no bio” So, Please don’t be that person. A mum and a wife with a really cool day job…. I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One; Don’t reveal everything. Of course, as marketers, we agree that the brand might as well put it on Twitter, too. Based on her bio I’d be willing to guess that her Twitter feed is equally as amusing. Just look at me! You want to strike a balance—something personal but not over-the-top, something funny but uncommon and creative, and something people haven’t seen on the platform. I’m not always sarcastic. A dream told me to find the product in a dream, Roustabout, gadabout, knockabout. Perhaps one of the most challenging parts of making an impact on social media is coming up with something profound in 140 characters. I’m that actor in some of the movies you liked and some you didn’t. Go on—make the denizens of the Twitter-verse laugh, one bio at a time! What do we love about comedian Leslie Jones’ Twitter bio? Sometimes, I’m sleeping. 160 characters. To write a good twitter bio – more so a funny one you need to understand what makes something funny in the mind of people reading it. Use your voice to play a song, artist, or genre through Amazon Music, Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora, and others. I tried to work something out but you just ignored it. Life is hard. Emojis: Twitter, like Facebook and other social networks, allows you to enter any emoji supported by your device in posts through their native Android and iOS apps.You can use any emoji in the body of your tweets. Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Why we’re amused: Comedian and writer Mike Trainor makes my inner seven-year-old want to ask him to pull my finger. It is an oasis of dry humor and sarcasm for the humor thirsty audience. Aren’t we all? After all, see below. God has a weird sense of humor. Life is short. Below are the best Twitter bios I’ve found around the web that range from average people to celebrities, to famous Twitter users. Me too! She’s the writer behind such hit shows as “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Scandal,” and yes: People love to tweet their plotline opinions to her. Don’t you just hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way you octopus. Charmin, as we know, sells toilet paper. Again — we approve. The result was a sensation. I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One Don’t reveal everything. They publish gag headlines and goofy articles for the sake of humor. [Amazon Fire TV Remote Guide], Grammarly Premium Free Trial 2021 March- 30 Days Account, How to Reactivate Instagram Account? Tags: clever twitter bios, cool twitter bios, funny twitter bios, interesting twitter bios, mark schaefer Posted in humor, Twitter | 89 Comments » All posts. Please spend all that time tweeting. Others collect automobiles. We could be friends. Plus, who doesn’t enjoy a good, TP-related riddle? Make it short and sweet. Also a pretty legit baker. Wearing the entrepreneur hat this week and starting a new business. Also, the location being “the den” is on point. Gisele N. Mendez says: September 21, 2011 at … Is Mike Davidson to blame? Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Mom, Blogger. 17 Funny Twitter Bios That Are So Creative, They Will Make You Go WTF! I’m an incredible dresser, I’ve got buckets of money, I’m a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack. I figure any bio with the word Oyj in it has got to be great. I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am. Transforming unconscious survival patterns into strategic authentic leadership by harmonizing your thinking IQ, feelings EQ, communication and actions. Makes me want to scurry off and rewrite my own bio. There is something brilliant here, I can tell. Then I remembered all the small things and I went back to sleep and woke up the following morning. I want to be nice, but everyone annoys me. And crafting one often leaves us staring blankly at that little blinking cursor, hoping for a way to … Job Opportunity Promoter, I follow back for FREE!!! Sadly, I will never be a Ghostbuster when I grow up. That's exactly how many you can use to make your Twitter bio funny, unique and ultimately, create opportunity for engagement. I am nothing but an angry, wild egg that loves garlic bread. Created by @joshjs. Franklin took it upon himself to create a bio that not only asks his followers to test out their imaginations, but one which will also withstand the test of time. You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Sara Rubin is a video producer at BuzzFeed. Partial to Milk Duds. You can’t scare me I raise tiny humans. An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough! I try not to laugh at my jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious. It’s me. Comedian and writer Mike Trainor makes my inner seven-year-old want to ask him to pull my finger. So that’s it. #Psychology #speaking. Buffalo, NY resident (and coworker of mine at Mainstreethost), Amacher knows the importance of keeping plants alive indoors — especially since, here in the Northeast U.S., we don’t get to see much plant life outside during winter. I’m not always sarcastic. Also, I am superb at parallel parking. The mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Actors Will Arnett and Jason Bateman wear their BFF-dom proud for all of the Twitterland to see — but it’s not the first time they’ve taken their affinity for one another to the public eye. Funny Twitter Bio Quotes & Sayings . He doesn’t know us from a bar of soap, but will once we develop Tait Towers. John Cleese is an English writer, actor and tall person (according to his website). But that doesn’t stop @notzuckerberg (a.k.a., Twitter user @afterthatsummer) from tweeting as if (s)he were the “Zuck.”. Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate! Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football. Now neither parent admits to having me…, We are building an empire and I have better hair than Donald Trump. My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Out of about 328 million monthly active users on Twitter, that ain’t too shabby – she’s definitely considered a comedian in this culture, if I had to guess. I have the power of god and anime on my side. That’s still what I am doing. The New York Times called Twitter bios a post-modern art form.There’s a craft to doing them well. I run. Always give your 100 percent… unless you’re donating blood. Probably the best meat eater in the world. I watch Jurassic Park every week. Anything that happens before that is just progress. I’m actually not funny. Having one of the best Twitter bios can really help you stand out on Twitter. I just dropped my new single. Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper. You can always use me as a bad example. Life is hard. Smile while you still have teeth. I’m just a boy, standing in front of the world, asking you to follow me. I used to love my old twitter account, then everyone from work found me. Love it! If you’re as big a fan of Frank’s RedHot as we are, then you know how easy it to actually but that — ahem — [stuff] on everything. 160 characters? They don’t have time to look for other women because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own. Be descriptive. Though, according to HiTFiX (and her impressive Twitter following of 122k), it seems that people are crazy about her — at the very least, on Twitter. So we have collected some of the crisp witty twitter bio lines just for you, Check them out and choose the best one for you! Funny Twitter Bios For Guys. There’s a fair amount of funny Twitter bio ideas in this collection. So, without wasting any more time, start checking our list of funny & good Twitter Bios. I don’t correct them. Too dead to die. Tweet. To that, we say, “Tweet on, Tom.”. Mike Davidson, former VP of Design at Twitter, is a connoisseur of sorts — and while he has an impressive background, we do enjoy his present credential of, “Currently chillin’.”. There are those who love to use their Twitter bio to clearly explain what they do best—while others opt to make their Twitter bio as funny as … So we have collected some of the crisp witty twitter bio lines just for you, Check them out and choose the best one for you!Witty Twitter Bios. That’s right; I’m talking about the tweet. Now I’m sad that I’m not more important. Insert pretentious crap about myself here. You also need to think about the reason for your Instagram account and make your bio appropriate. With little need for introductions, the header image says it all. If I was funny, I would have a good Twitter bio. Why get thinner when you can get more dinner? I’m here to avoid my friends on Facebook. I’m fighting to get you out of my head but I’m holding onto every word that you ever said. 189 Funny Twitter Bios & Ideas; 100 Best Twitter Names Of All Time; 178 Best Instagram Quotes - Cute & Funny; All Of The Best Instagram Accounts To Follow In 2020; 10 Best Apps like Popcorn Time; 10 Best Apps for Killing Time; 111 Funny Facebook Status & Posts; 25 Funny Snapchats - Ideas & Drawings; 25 Funny Pictures With Captions - Utterly Hilarious! I’m just really mean and people think I am joking. Have also learned that people will pay for what I know. I am a sample size of one, not statistically significant, nor representative. People love to be around a person who is witty by nature. Like all 80s kids, I was so busy being told how special I was I didn’t get that that went for everybody else, too. If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. The mysterious Sixth Form Poet is an author (as she or he is quick to remind us) of the book The Sixth Form Poet, and offers up this Twitter handle on the book’s cover as authorship. We’re all adults here, and we all know what it’s used for. People went nuts. A human. It’s simple and to the point. Just look at me! I’m very busy and important. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. This gives you real freedom to play around until you have something that you like. I wife. Then I started writing funny tweets. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. Plus, we can’t help but snicker at the humor in its simplicity — she lets us know about her line of work, without any jokes. I’m not funny. All that’s left to do is for you to actually use them. I told them, … Social media and influencer marketing specialist who spends most of her time behind the screen. Nice to meet you, too. Marc is a man with a dream. Also, imagining Mr. Trainor saying, “He who smelt it,” while looking as dapper as he does in his profile picture is a little slice of added amusement. I’ll follow back esp. My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Use this thingy to generate a Twitter bio for yourself. Let’s break down as precisely as we can what makes a great Twitter bio so you can recreate some of the genius ideas below and make your very own. Married to the luckiest man alive. Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. For one reason or another, these celebs have all nailed it. I want to say I’m moving on and do it. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. I behave decently to everyone without any expectation of rewards or punishment after I’m dead. Because we see what you did there, Comedy Central. Fitness freak: I burn calories by … Jamie Amacher aims to save neglected houseplants. It’s me. 65 Funny Twitter Bio Ideas That Are Guaranteed To Increase Your Twitter Followers. 31 Funny Twitter Bios & How to Write Your Own. Duane | August 19, 2019 | Marketing | No Comments. Better late than never, but never late is better. One day I woke up & I felt bad because blink-182 broke up. And crafting one often leaves us … I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies? Aren’t we all? CBS All Access Student Discount: Grab Now for 2021, How To Pair Firestick Remote? Dear people who update their Facebook status every 30 seconds, there’s Twitter for a reason! 1. UberFacts fills our brains with seemingly unnecessary information all day, every day. I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor. These Twitter bios are perfect for you. Here are some examples of how funny and creative some people can be: Serial Chips and Salsa eater; Self Proclaimed Media Ho ; Living vicariously … I put the “elation” in “public relations!”. 8016 matching entries found. I’m single. (Monty Python fans, rejoice.). Plus, we can’t help but love this bio’s self-deprecation, in its allusion to the fact that one of his shows is “still airing somehow.”. Be positive about yourself. Uh, I mean, *I’m* the lucky one {cough} We have eleventy-billion kids. No, I don’t doubt your intelligence – but some jokes are not easy to understand right. It’s simple and to the point. Post these funny quotes on your bios and become a comedy king. Impossible, utter madness! I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! Home Online Marketing 31 Funny Twitter Bios & How to Write Your Own. Do not judge me before you know me, but just to inform you, you wont like me, I’m not on Facebook. That’s okay; luckily, her on-screen work and actual tweets provide plenty of hilarious fodder. The fake Mark Zuckerberg is pretty funny, as proven by his Twitter bio and tweets like this: We’ve always been rather amused by Anna Kendrick’s self-deprecating humor in general. Make People Laugh With These Hilarious Twitter Bios. If looking at this bio (and its accompanying profile image) gives you an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia, then you already know why it’s amusing. Go on, make the denizens of the Twitter-verse laugh, one bio at a time! Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging. You can follow me if you feel like it. American actor Nelson Franklin gets us. Some people call me a Social Media Guru. I am a life form evolved to live off movies, comics, video games, junk food and snarky. I may not be special, but I’m definitely limited edition! Note this is Finnish. Pudding tastes better with a plastic spoon; I am an actor and a writer and I co … Think back, if you can, to a time before Slack, Twitter, and even Facebook — and maybe, just maybe, it’ll all come back to you. I like cake Who doesn’t? On a scale of 1 to 10, I am an 11. Red Lobster. I want to say I deserve better and mean it. So they would love a person with witty/funny bio as well. I like being glamorous because it’s not a crime. Humanity has reached its final days. In 2013, they were seen strolling down the street on a sunny afternoon in 2013 while having some fun with the nearby paparazzi: In a similar fashion, writers Alison Leiby and Alyssa Wolff have obviously made a BFF pact to dedicate their Twitter bios to one another. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. The breakdown: The best marketing Twitter bios are full of personality, and they also give you a sense of what potential followers can expect from you and your business. I’m not going to stress over you anymore. We also can’t help but wonder: Does the Twitter bio 160 character limit have to do with the aesthetics of a Twitter page’s design? I just want you that’s it. I like to think of myself as more optimistic than that. Be human. Have ambitions to be crazy cat lady if marrying various celebrity crushes proves impossible. There’s a fair amount of funny Twitter bio ideas in this collection. In this bio, they sarcastically claim that they are the opposite of a joke site by calling themselves the, “finest news source.”. If you read through the very best Twitter bios, you will notice that almost all of them are very funny. Like a homeless individual asking me for beer money, I can respect this. I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it, I put the “elation” in “public relations!”. Witty Twitter Bios . When I was 11 I got my first computer. For many of us, Shonda Rhimes is a legend — and our Thursday nights would be so much less interesting without her. So, what does that tell us about her second job? I may not be special, but I’m a limited edition! I mean, no matter what Nelson Franklin becomes in life, “Noun/noun/noun” is likely to be pretty accurate. I believe I could, but I overslept so I didn’t. I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook. Oh yea, I work in email marketing & I like craft beer too. I mom. A lot of these are from famous people, so copy them at your own risk. Twitter is a funny place to be. Make it funny, period. Also, imagining Mr. Trainor saying, “He who smelt it,” while looking as dapper as he does in his profile picture is a little slice of added amusement. I must say, it’s a noble act; sacrificing a Twitter bio front-loaded with accomplishments. Good morning. Though with the rise of popularity in bar-hosted trivia nights and games like Trivia Crack, I wouldn’t say we’ll never need to know things like this: Berserk llama syndrome is a real condition where a llama believes its human owner is also a llama, causing the animal to become aggressive. My life only has one BS- Bags and Shoes! I want to be nice, but everyone annoys me. I’m indifferent to most items on the planet. Shelly Kramer The bio: Digital marketing brand strategist, information junkie with a penchant for quick wit. Sep 16, 2019 - Explore Rei Ignacio's board "Twitter Bio" on Pinterest. I’m not hot, it’s called cuteness overloaded. Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. I’m still single. It’s harder if you’re stupid. Determined dreamer. Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk. I have not lost my mind – it’s backed up on disk somewhere. Below I’ve outlined what I believe are key principles of creating your own unique and clever bio. Please insert pretentious crap about myself here. Why get thinner when you can get more dinner? I’m so much cooler online. And, if you’re curious about her work, she’s also conveniently included a link to Google search her instead of providing a website. Red Lobster is … In case you haven’t already guessed, this is NOT Mark Zuckerberg. If you’re advertising your moodily-lit photography services, you don’t want a sarcastic wisecracking bio… Below are the best Twitter bios I’ve found around the web that range from average people to celebrities, to famous Twitter users. @TheMikeTrainor. Great plan of attack but no product yet. Real men stay faithful. Impossible, utter madness! I’m fabulous. Being and communicating with and about other beings and things. Generate Bio. So this is actually the sixth edition of Funniest Twitter bios. Showing search results for "Funny Twitter Bio" sorted by relevance. People usually talk about the issues, their complaints and sometimes for blaming also it is a nice platform. The man your #librarian warned you about. Will work for shoes. Twitter bios can help people branch out into various facets of your identity. With that I wrap up this guide to funny Twitter bios from around the the web. Reading these will help give you a sense of some things you can say yourself. That’s right; I’m talking about the tweet. With compatible Echo devices in different rooms, you can fill your whole home with music. The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation. Life is short. I [verb describing feelings of having a strong liking for] this. The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest. I am an actor and a writer and I co-created Soul Pancake and my son, Walter. Isn’t that a great way to strike a conversation. I’m not totally useless. Humorous Bio Ideas for Twitter. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough! 3 – Use Emojis, Hashtags, @s, or Links. Make sure it’s upbeat and positive but not too arrogant or people may get turned off. Also, imagining Mr. Trainor saying, “He who smelt it,” while looking as dapper as he does in his profile picture is a little slice of added amusement. Girls like to post funny jokes about witty guys on their profile bios and Facebook statuses and clever guys also don’t miss any chance and continuously post girly jokes on their profiles … if you’re Irish. I’m 25% mom 25% comedian 62% you know what 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey. I’m so good at sleeping i can do it with my eyes closed! I used to act. So your biography really matters, Let’s see a cool list of best twitter bios in this article.eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'classywish_com-box-2','ezslot_2',107,'0','0'])); Before starting to tweet, you should work on your bio. Everything. Just dropped my new single. S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R, Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless. Posting cute, clever and creative bios on Twitter and Instagram is a fun idea but now it’s become a competition as well. 25 of the very best Twitter bios There's an art to crafting a great Twitter bio. Waking up every day seems a bit excessive. Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. Some people collect stamps. If you’ve seen any of the videos in which she’s, you know she’s an overall lovable and whimsical character — not to mention, hilariously awkward and anxious, like a good handful of us. Also read: 10 BEST FREE GAMES WITHOUT WIFI IN 2020eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'classywish_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_7',109,'0','0'])); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Charmin’s Twitter bio is entertaining because, considering its industry, the brand gets the awkwardness out of the way immediately, letting us all know that, hey, quality toilet paper is a good thing … and a good bathroom trip — or, “the go,” as it’s called here — should be enjoyed. Related Topics. It’s pretty funny to imagine a social media manager getting distracted from their job duties because the product they’re supposed to be marketing is just so delicious.

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